How to deal with separation of loved ones.

After 32 years of marriage, before I started driving the wife and I almost never sat down and just had long conversations. When I'm on the road, we do it frequently over the phone. Being gone 3-4 nights a week actually helped our marriage. I know it sucks with a GF that you want to be with all of the time, but it will get easier.

 

You can't miss someone if you never leave.

 

One year is an insignificant amount of time. Just focus on learning your job. In the grand scheme of things, if you are only OTR for 1 year, it wont be long until it's just fading memory.

That said, you can probably have regional or local a lot sooner than 1 year. That 1 year to get out of OTR is just nonsense, just don't be too picky.

I went on the road with a new guy that lives in Dallas. He had just upgraded when he got on my truck. Then 3 months later he was off my truck and had taken some local job.

So honestly dude just focus on learning your job. Its deceptively easy. It's also very easy to screw up. Just keep reminding yourself nothing is permanent except death and taxes.

 

When companies say they want a guy with a year of OTR experience, that's not really saying much.

So what if you work very hard for 3 months, learn everything you can, and become worth the same as your average guy that's been driving for a year?

It doesn't be too hard to sell that in an interview. While you are away from home and distractions, ask a lot of questions, come here and keep reading about the job. While you are on the road, try to make every turn you make cleaner and neater than your last turn, etc. Take it seriously and you can still have fun. Driving across the country is fun in its own way. It's an experience you will never forget. Keep a positive mindset and enjoy the view. Take a lot of pictures and send them to your wife. You might get some good vacation ideas.

 

Most lawns are nicely landscaped these days!

To the OP, what kind of sacrifices is she making for the future of your relationship? Is she working on or have a career? Or just sitting home petting the dog?

 

Get a local or regional job. I was engaged, had a beautiful daughter and bought a nice house with my fiance. Guess she didn't like sitting at home by herself so she is now living elsewhere. Kept telling myself "a few more months then things will slow down and you'll be home more than just the weekends", but I waited too long. Looking back I should've made the change from the day my daughter was born, but I was selfish I guess.

My advice, if you're feeling like things are going south, it's because they are and don't let any job take priority over family. No matter what you may owe them if you quit, it's nowhere near as bad as losing what's at home.

 

You can be home everyday and still have the relationship go south, and just plain hell, wishing you were out on the road to get away from it all. Either way it's a gamble, stick out the training, you'll always need a job before a relationship, unless you find yourself a sugar momma.

 

I think if you’re single it’s a lot easier, if you have a significant other, a girlfriend or wife at home you have to know 100% you can trust her. That’s huge. Let’s make no qualms about it, if I had a dollar for every truck driver I heard finding out his wife or girlfriend was cheating on him when he’s out on the road for three weeks at a time I would be retired. It happens.

Make sure you got a good hearted, loyal loving woman that you don’t have to worry about that. Makes it much easier.

 

Truck drivers do not hold the cornerstone of cheating. If you want a monogamous relationship then your partner has to respect you, and they have to be worthy of your respect also. Otherwise it won't work. Both you and her have to be willing to communicate wants/needs and both have to listen to the other person.

If you can manage to find someone halfway compatible with you that deserves respect then you come off the road with flowers, sweep her off her feet, cook for her, go do something like she likes doing... then ride that roller coaster. The next day you can sit on your butt and play your video games or work on your car/bike. In theory, it shouldn't be hard.

All that said, it's hard to find someone, I understand that.

But my point is it's not just truck drivers. I don't think the time you spend away from home has that much of an affect. If it does, you only noticing a problem sooner, rather than later.

 

You make it sound like drivers never cheat while on the road. Doesn't the wife or GF have to 100% trust you as well? I wasn't aware that prostitutes only hooked up with men who aren't in committed relationships.