How to not get so angry at other people?

This is why I love you @Opus you always contribute something worthwhile.

I just remind myself I don't want the Karma and back off.

 

I appreciate the kind words, UTG.

 

It was recently suggested to me, that I review my values, my ideals, then, when things get hot, try to keep those values and ideals in mind, and examine how my actions align with those values, or do they come into conflict with them?

For me, this is making an enormous positive improvement. It can be challenging, since it requires one to take total responsibility for ones actions, yet we live in a society where The Cool Kids blame all of their negative actions on someone else, or just deny them altogether.

At the end of the day, it turns out that what sort of day we have, good or bad, is actually all, every single bit, our own choice.

Yeah, a car is tailgating you. Ok, you have a choice; how you react is a choice, every single time.

Something I like to keep in mind, too, is that maybe that car is tailgating you because maybe the guy driving it is very upset, his doctor just told him he's got Stage 3 pancreatic cancer, and it's metastasizing. Or maybe his wife just ran off with his oncologist.

You just never know what's going on.

I also use mindfulness methods, and have been very impressed with the results. Mindfulness can be practiced in many different ways, and applied to nearly any situation, but, again, it takes very real effort, over the long term.

There are no quick fixes for behavioral issues. One must examine oneself fearlessly, one must be totally open and honest with oneself, and one must take full responsibility for ones own reality.

 

profound

 

I think a prerequisite to getting a driver's license should be an 80 hour anger management course as well.

 

Can't change the past. What can you do to improve the future?
I'm thinkin' that you're still thinking about it, at least from time to time. I think you will continue to think about it for a while. I would't be surprised if you keep it uppermost in your mind, ... maybe forever. That's NOT a bad thing.

If a similar situation arises in the future, you're going to flash back to this very incident and that will remind you of what not to do, --- and you won't, because all the thinking you're doing now will lead you to realizing and knowing how you should react, --- and you will.

That you've come here to seek answers has impressed me more than you know. I especially appreciate your attitude, and I firmly believe based on personal experience that it's attitude over aptitude. A good attitude will develop aptitude, it's attitude that'll take you places you want to go. Employers have rules for a reason, and that reason can be an excuse why they can't hire you --- without making it seem personal. If you're exactly what they're lookin' for, exceptions can and are possible. And finding an obviously good attitude is becoming more and more difficult. Anyone with any experience hiring employees knows and probably admit, "It's hard to find good employees."

But, ........ I digress.

Back to your incident.
Have your thoughts caused you to realize that it wasn't all about the actions of the other driver?
Imagine if, .......... that other driver had just received a call informing him that his child had been hit by a car, and the child's condition isn't good, --- could go either way. Hurry. (with 10 miles to the hospital, what's on his mind?) We can't always know the specifics of a situation. Try to assume there's a good reason for the way someone is doing what's normally unexceptable. Then again, maybe they're just a rollin' crash lookin' for a place to happen. Don't make that place the place where you are.

If something was already bothering you, your fuse was probably already lit and that driver fanned the flame. Which would be a reason for the over reaction, --- not an excuse. But I'm thinkin' you already know that. You recognise that you need to make a change for the better, and that right there is three quarters of the what's necessary to git-er-dun. A desire to change.
I know you will succeed.
You should know that too
And you will.

Do keep us informed,......... and, if you find that you need to vent frustrations, ...... well,
by golly, what better place to do that, .... than right here?
You'll feel better, and as an added bonus, others will read your rant and learn, .... too.
Safety is no accident.
I wish you the best of success.

B I N G O !!!
It's a mistake ONLY if you don't learn from it.
When you learn from it,..... it becomes a lesson learned.
Also something those who are wise enough to learn by
the mistakes of others can benefit from.

YeaH!
See -N-Read-Above.
I'm a certified, registered "old timer".
(Old enough to know better - but -- Young enough to try it again)

 

I cannot tell you how many times I've wanted to do many EWMAN things to those I consider "Stupid" When I was younger I handled things differently than I do now. Now days in most but not ALL instances I slowdown and drive slower and slower and let them deal with it. No brake checks. When they flip me off which they do I blow them a kiss and wave.
Long and short, do not stoop to their level. Some times Karma wins and you get to see it.

 

Pathetic.

Just how pathetic and sad their lives must be to run up on your tail and hit their lights. When they could of just as easily gone around.
That's what I try to remember. I then feel sorry for them instead of angry.

You get to a unloading/loading spot and deal with an a-hole, remember that's who they are. It's pathetic. Could you imagine living like that. Ya got to feel sorry for them.

Same with DMV, Dispatchers the guy who is pissed you're taking too long to backup. Something in their lives is so wrong they need to take it out on the world. Pathetic. No need to hate them, just feel sorry for them.

I can get mean. I'm even good at it. It's a weakness not a strength. So I choose to feel sorry for the a-holes instead of allowing them to control my emotions, allowing them to control me essentially makes ME, their b####. Not happening.

 

This is my approach. Lol

 

I pay them no mind, but when I find myself getting a little on edge, this song always reels me back in.