Not in a truck, but... 15 months... 3 in training and 12 in the sandbox... One thing that really stinks about the Middle East is the sewer system is -for the most part- non-existant, so it is a lot like a big 120 degree litter box. When you get out of the shower and walk outside, the sandstorms pick up and blow that crap all over you... Like a big poop sugar-cookie... Then when you get back they ask you why you aren't gonna re-enlist...
Tex was discreet enough not to wheel around and gawk like a goober. Instead, he did a casual half turn and checked out the reflection in the mirror behind the bar. "Well, well. What have we here?. You gonna ease over there and put that country boy charm on 'em Ricky?" he asks me with a raised eyebrow. "Aw shucks, I don't know Tex. I make take a little stroll to the little boys room by way of their table. Just a little recon mission, guage their reaction" "Ah, I see. The coy technigue. Just don't stagger when you get up. And bring one back for me" he joked. Tex was no slouch himself, it seems. For when I returned from the restroom, what did I discover but two of the young ladies were currently sharing our booth. The Suzanne Sommers lookalike was seated beside Tex and Joan Jett was on my side stirring her Tequila Sunrise. "Welcome back son. 'pears company done showed up while you were away. This young lady here was curious about my attire and kinda figured I wasn't from around here. Well naturally I ain't, and just so happens Miss Jolene here is from Longview, Texas, up here visiting her cousin Joan" "Your name is really Joan?" I just had to ask. "Yeah it is. Just a coincidence, but I like to play it up. I did my hair like this before she got famous, but nobody believes me" Joan says as she pats the seat, motioning for me to sit beside her. "I finally get to meet somebody that sounds like Jolene. Sounds kinda cool on a guy" "You sound pretty cool yourself" I said as the flirting began in earnest.
The first stupid thing was telling her she sounded like Laverne from LAVERNE & SHIRLEY. "Watch it" she teased. "Or I will start calling you Jethro Bodine" Turns out Tex knew Jolene's first cousin in Longview who ran a livestock trailer repair shop. I swear, that fella seems to know everbody. I suggested a round of cheeseburgers, to everyone's approval. I wanted to soak up some alcohol before I got stupid. That normally isn't a problem, but I didn't want to chance anything in the young lady's presence. Before the night was over, we both got an invitation to her parent's house for New Years Day dinner. She said the neighborhood would be tight for a truck, even a bobtail and they would pick us up at eleven. They lived in a beautiful coastal town about fifteen miles away called Laurence Harbor. The house was only a block from the bay and afforded an unobstructed view of Staten Island and Rockaway Point. Kinda chilly for my tastes, but a beautiful day. "New York don't look so bad from here" I told Joan as we walked along the shore hand in hand. "It's not such a bad place. Not like it is in the movies anyway. I'd still rather be on this side of the water" she answered. "Yeah, this ain't so bad. A lot nicer than I expected. Sorry to say, but my view of New Jersey is from the turnpike, and industrial areas I go to" "Yeah, I imagine so. I bet it's peaceful down there in Carolina. Love to see it one day. The farthest south I've ever been is Washington D.C. I went down there on a class trip once. We did make a side trip to Williamsburg, Virginia. God, I just loved it. All the trees and flowers. And the people seemed so laid back" "Yeah, Virginia is pretty nice. Kinda tame compared to where I live. We have to be very careful about walking at night. Never know when some crazy moonshiner will come barrelling down the road with his headlights off" I said with mock seriousness. I think she actually believed me for a second before she caught on and punched me in the arm. Her parents were thoughtful hosts and served an enormous Italian feast, complete with home baked bread and red wine. Her father was a chemical engineer with Dupont and her mother worked for an advertising agency in Manhattan. Any preconcieved notions I had about snobbery toward a southern truckdriver vanished the moment we were introduced, for they couldn't have been more gracious to me and Tex. In fact, Tex was almost regarded as the official ambassador from the state of Texas for personally knowing a distant relative of the family. The day passed much too quickly and having obtained Joan's phone number, I promised to call the very second I had a load back to New Jersey. And ole smooth talking Tex had Jolene's address down in Longview where he would no doubt be stopping on his way back to Dallas. I decided to sleep in until checkout time the next day. Give them folks at the box plant time to repair the quadruple ink jet box printer, or whatever the heck he called it. Better give Bondo a call too and tell him this load is already two days late and I better not hear any complaining from old Hernando in California.
this is turnin out really good! i like the way all these little twists in the story turn for the best! hey mustang, if i ever become a trucker and if i run into you on the road well have to hangout man!
I waited until I got back to the box plant to call Bondo, just in case there was another delay. Thankfully there wasn't. My trailer was nearly loaded and the shipping foreman was extremely proud of this particular batch of boxes. He apologized profusely, but went on to say this may have been a blessing for him. He said the font had never been so crisp and the colors so deep. Geez, this guy really has a thing for boxes. He then launched into a detailed explanation about why the guy from Plainfield didn't show up with the part two days ago. He said the delivery guy's boss saw his van parked in front of a tavern on New Years Day. The tavern owner said it had been sitting there since the day before. Said the driver was pretty drunk when he left with some buddies in another vehicle late that afternoon. The boss had a key to the van and found the part in the passenger seat, which he personally delivered first thing this morning. He also rotated the housing and made sure everything worked properly. And on and on. I patiently listened to his tale, though my mind was elsewhere. The already late trip to California, when I could see Joan again and that waitress in Darlington. I updated Bondo from the office phone. He seemed nervous and distracted. Not his usual swarmy, devious self. My first thought was perhaps he had a hangover, but I don't think that was the case. Bondo could be a liar and a cheat, but I still had a fondness for the man. He generally provided me with a good living and I had yet to find a human without faults. I didn't dwell on it for I had miles to cover. And by the time I got off the phone I was signing my bills, finally ready to ride.
MustangGT, the story might be fake, but the best dam* thing i have heard in a LONG time. absolutly wonderful story. cant wait to hear what you encountered on the way to california....and that girl you met, sounds like a keeper!
