Swift - Starting the New Year training with Swift 1/7/13 - A long read...

Atlantic City and I got me a much younger date to accompany me...

Oh yeah, about to head back up to Jersey this weekend and go to Atlantic City.

I'm still not really settled in here in Virginia. I don't have a home to speak of as I'm still based out of the terminal. It still doesn't make sense to me, under the current circumstances of being out for 5-6 days a week, to get an apartment. I don't have anyone there to come home to, no pets, no kids. Why pay for rent and all the utilities just to have a place that sits there empty most of the week. But the absence of a place can also cause problems.

I'm back on the dating app, somewhat reluctantly, but I've been corresponding with some interesting women on there. This is the same app that one of my Swift trainers, the young angry guy, introduced me to a couple of years ago when I was doing OTR training out of Swift school. At the time I met a couple of female friends, one I dated for a short while and the rest just remained as friends. So I didn't stay on that dating app long that first time and I canceled my account.

Now being new to Virginia, I need to meet people. If for no other reason than to just be friends with some females and go out and explore. Kill some time on my days off instead of just going to the gym and visiting my parents. I need more socially. So I joined this site again and now I'm starting the preliminary meetings with people. None in person yet but I have some loose plans to meet them. There are about 4 I'm interested in to varying degrees. One is really special and she lives in Norfolk. Once again, much like Brandi, she is in the social work field. Weird but whatever. This girl is very attractive, smart and funny as hell. I'm interested. But that's not my date this weekend.

Jersey Irish wedding and meeting Lauren...

Two weeks ago I rode my bike 9 hours up to the Jersey shore for my younger cousin's wedding. The trip should have taken 6-7 hours but with stops on the motorcycle, more frequent fueling and butt pain breaks it took me almost 9 hours. More than worth it.

The very first night I got there I checked in at the hotel. It was an old Irish family hotel in Spring Lake Heights, NJ - Doolans. Great place, a little dated in some respects but great regardless. I checked in, ran my new dating profile by my sis-in-law to make sure everything was cool and I hung out with my little bro and her. We got a call from my cousin. She was going out in Seaside Heights (remember that Jersey Shore show? Yeah, that place...) and she was egging us on to come meet her and her friends. We drove over and started drinking at this bar/club. Typical Jersey Shore/Seaside Heights place. As ridiculous as this place would seem to someone from Iowa, it was home to me and felt like I never left the shore. It's been about 20 years since I've gone out in Seaside but things don't change much. Guidos, dudes with tans and muscles, girls named Gina and pounding music. The shore. We were only about 2 Long Island Iced Teas in when my cousin showed up with her soon to be husband, two of her girlfriends and a couple of the best men. Party on Wayne. Party on Garth.

Shots of Fireball and some mystery shots, Dirty Temples (Shirley Temples alcoholic and much more depraved and sweet sister in the alcoholic drink world) and more mystery shots bought by some guy that was trying to impress my soon to be married cousin. He wouldn't get anywhere with her but who could argue with this guy buying us all shots. Thank you Jersey Shore. I started talking to one of my cousin's friends and we hit it off. She was hyper intelligent, funny and attractive. Game on. I must have grown a pair, maybe due to the alcohol, maybe due to the recent long gym visits and continued weight loss. Something, but I started to push up on her a little. She was game. By the time they closed the bar and kicked us all out, we were all thoroughly wasted and Lauren and I were hooking up. She whispered in my ear that she wanted to go back to my hotel room.

We looked around and the rest of our party was gone. The street was empty and we were alone. WTF? Where did everyone go? My brother called me and said the stranger that was buying all the shots was driving them around, taking them to a diner (a post bar NJ tradition) and was going to drive my cousin, her one girlfriend, my bro and his wife to my cousin's house. I told him we would catch a cab and catch up to them at my cousin's house. Lauren and I grabbed a taxi and crashed in one of my cousin's spare bedrooms. The other girlfriend was passed out on the couch. My cousin and her almost husband were in their bedroom and bro and sis in law crashed in the basement. The age difference is great but didn't feel like it. I'm 43 and Lauren is 28. Yay me.

Next day, Friday, we all parted ways and did out own things. I went back to my hotel room, grabbed some things and spent the day hanging with my best buddy I grew up with. Great time and great to see him. That night was spent around family and talking to Lauren on the phone. She stayed at her house.

Next day was Saturday and the wedding. Lauren and I met outside the church, unplanned, and sat together during the ceremony. She drove me back to the hotel afterwards since she was staying there too. I asked about her accomodations and she told me she had planned on bunking at the hotel with one of her friends and her friend's husband. Not idea, right? I told her, if she was comfortable, she was more than welcome to stay in my room since I was alone and has this big old room to myself. Nothing to be expected, she could crash there if she wanted. She jumped at it and was in. The rest of the day and night we spent together for the most part as the reception wore on and everyone got more drunk. It was an awesome time. We had an after party in our room with most of the guests spilling out into the hallway then we all headed down the street (walking of course) to a local bar for an after, after party. More shots, more drinks and more fun. Irish weddings, gotta love 'em. That night Lauren spent the night with me. More awesomeness.

Sunday, the following day we tried to recover. We reluctantly said good bye for now and I was back on my bike heading west on 195 towards Trenton and back to Virginia. It was an even longer ride considering that I fell in love again with my home state. It wasn't what I expected to feel but I really miss Jersey. I understand how most from outside the state hate us Jerseyians but when you grow up there it is everything you know. We speak our own foul mouthed language, we are direct and to the point but it works for us within out species. I missed seeing my family and kind of longed to see them more. I missed Lauren already.

Since then we have talked everyday. We made plans to meet up again and I'm more than happy to DRIVE up and spend this weekend with her. I say drive because I bought a car off my family a couple of weeks ago and now, in addition to being a rider and a driver, I'm also now a "cager" and a "4 wheeler". Proudly. I love my new car and it's the first one I've had in many years. It's by far the nicest I've owned. Now I can go on dates, I don't have to ride my motorcycles and I can be comfortable as the weather gets worse.

I'm leaving very early tonight, probably after hitting the gym for a couple of hours, and going to bypass the traffic. I figure I'll get on the road about 2 AM. I should be in Toms River around 9 AM, picking up Lauren. Really looking forward to this...

 

Time for change once again...

Time to be moving on again soon.

I've been looking at day cab jobs up in the Asbury Park area. Hours and pay with my current are too inconsistent. I'm now looking to move to a position whereby I'm home every night and have a couple of days off a week. I want a more normal life at this point.

I'm not crazy about Virginia. Never really felt at home and unlike other places I've lived, I'm just not excited about exploring and discovering here. It's great to be near my parents here which was my original intention. But, as it is, I only see them once every week or two on my days off. During the week I'm just driving. So a move up to Jersey will still allow me to see them as often as I do now.

It's funny how this whole truck driving experience has evolved. I went from miserable temp labor and a terrible existence to training with Swift and it all changed. I drove in every state in the lower 48 spending anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months out on the road. My lifestyle was solitary, reflective and independent. That experience got me back on my feet again. The next step in this career was a move out here to Virginia to drive regional, dedicated OTR. This gets me "home" to my terminal every 2nd day for the gym and I have two days off. However the job is not what was promised, the money isn't what was promised and the route is unpredictable. Additionally I would rather sew socks in hell for Satan than spend any additional time driving through the Northern Virginia/D.C. area. I have now seen hell and I'm feeling much more religious these days.


"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom" - Jefferson

Throughout this thread you could follow my adventures and my single life. Dating was scattered, weird, non-typical, misguided and mostly disastrous. Often time a misguided infatuation filled in for something that was maybe missing in my life. Most of it, in retrospect, is embarrassing. Some of it was embellished for effect. I sheepishly admit this.

From the chick in N. Carolina I never did meet that I seemed hooked on because maybe I just needed some kind of female interaction to Brandi which was just something new and helplessly optimistic despite impending disaster due to mismatched chemistry to Shelby my alcoholic ex out in Washington that could never get herself healthy and sober, it has been interesting. I even went through my fresh separation and the never-ending divorce while on this thread. But with all mistakes, we learn what we really want and what works best with us. None of these people would ever work for me but I took from it what I needed. There's something to be gained from age, wisdom and experience.

The unfortunate aspect of all these experiences and documenting has been the unforeseen consequences of documentation here. I can understand how this all looks from how I write it. With every new relationship, despite it being only a few, it appears that I'm constantly running hot with someone new only for it to go cold. Trust me when I say that I can see the eyes rolling and a murmured "oh, here we go again" under the breath from anyone that has read some of my posts regarding my past relationships. My emotions may have been somewhat strong but I think they were not properly reflected on and they were somewhat embellished at times to save face. Call it a guy's pride or whatever you want, but I have not always been completely honest on here or honest with myself. This includes the recent and now concluded dating app fiasco which I have since terminated after meeting Lauren. This has come back to bite me. I did not want Lauren to read this thread for that exact reason.

I had mentioned something about posting on here a sort of blog of my experiences starting out in trucking. I also mentioned that it was highly personal and that it included aspects of my personal life from my mom's fight with cancer, my divorce and my dating life. I don't blame her, but out of curiosity she searched and found this thread. You can imagine how she felt when she read my bloated description of past relationships. She went from feeling like the only girl in the world to just another one I fell for. It couldn't be farther from the truth but how could I fight it. She is the most incredible woman I've ever met and the thought of my feelings for her being diluted by some stupid past comments about other girls killed me. The night we discussed it was one of my worst night I've ever had. Ever. I could feel the pain and disappointment in her voice and it destroyed me. How do you convince someone of their importance when they just seem like another number? Luckily she stuck around and I'm hoping I can spend the rest of my life showing her that she is the one and only true love of my life.

So the plan is to stick with this hellish job for now for a few more months. Save up some more money, fix my credit from when I was married and the ex destroyed what I had built and move to Asbury Park and get an apartment with Lauren. For the first time in this adventure of "Starting the New Year with Swift" I'm ready to hang up my need to travel and live out of a truck to something more domesticated. I'm ready for the apartment with someone I love, ready to save for a house to buy in a year or two and ready for a new chapter. I'll be back where I started 20 years ago in my home state of Jersey, near my extended family, near by friends I grew up with and near where I fit in the best. For the first time I'm ready on my own terms to settle down with someone. It finally feels natural and organic, to quote Lauren.

Lauren has ordered me a GRE prep so I can start prepping to take my GRE. Once I get settled in and have a set schedule I'll take my GRE results and start applying for programs to get my Master's Degree. Possible run for a PhD later.

"Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible"

 

Thanks. She is pretty awesome and understanding for sure. Some of the many qualities I appreciate in her.

 

Thank you so much Witchy! I always appreciate your posts, inspiring words and real world wisdom.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I know how difficult that can be and please keep me updated on what Steve does at the end of his lease.

 

Hey Scottied! Always great to hear from you. Thank you so much for saying that. Life is nothing but ebbs and flows, ups and downs, and getting past those rougher patches while not forgetting its lessons is what makes us successful in the present. Please keep in touch. I gotta get on here more often as it's been a while.

 

Frog Toggs is a great set of gear but why do they have to make the suits look so weird? It looks like crinkly Christmas wrapping paper.

Sounds like you got a great gig going there Lepton. Keep posting and keep in touch.