I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina Dog Food and was in Line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was Starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time,
But that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of My orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it.
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply Eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and Was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no.....
I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
The Purina Diet
Discussion in 'Road Stories' started by Pur48Ted, Dec 28, 2007.
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LMAOO I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Roadkill....that is so funny........
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I also screw with people who ask obvious questions.
That is a classic. -
did you finish your story with "Here's your sign" ?
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I was having breakfast with a couple of yellow boys and a ups driver last week and had an older couple eyeballing us in a judgemental way
these people were traveling and it was obvious they were uncomfortable in a truck stop - they looked like they had some money etc etc
they kept whispering and such.. anyway - they got up to leave and the husband said
"so you guys are truck drivers..." that was bait enough!
but then he asked
"I assume you have cb handles?" in a very mocking way
I said
"yep - this here is the 'cleveland steamer' - over here is 'hot karl' next to me is 'blumpkin' and they call me 'dirty sanchez'..."
the other drivers were mortified - and then I lost it when the old guy says
"funny.... you dont look hispanic..."
I was nominated at that moment for "most evil" by my peers! -
You guys are hilarious.
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