Trucking can be like a bad marriage...

Ok, I'm sorry but I'm just not in the mood, and doubt I'll ever be in the spirit this year for Xmas music...just not...

It feels totally fake, contribed, more so to me this year than ever.
I kind of feel like Lucy, above, about the upcoming bombardment of
Xmas music wherever I go, stores, restrooms, gas stations radio...

And speaking of radio, I tried getting the NFL football game tonight, but
instead got drowned out by another station spilling over...and yes, guess
what they were playing...Christmas music...

It's a sad state of affairs I suppose, when I can't get into the holiday like this...
Or maybe it's that they try to bring in on to early...

Why not wait until at least December before playing all that sappy music...
It's more like it's the stores trying to get people in the mood to buy..which makes it even more wrong to me...

I guess I'm just to detatched from mainstream to enjoy this stuff anymore...but I could get into Halloween...no problem...

Maybe cause they weren't playing Halloween music all the time...

Christmas is a mood you have to settle into on your own...not because a department store wants you to, so you'll buy x amount of items...

Xmas had it's place in my life when I was younger...but now it really doesn't...
I'm not around enough people for it to be special anymore...

The people your around is what makes it special...trucking kept me distant and away from many...and now there's nothing there...

And where I live, in the working class hood, even on xmas morning, all your going to hear is thumpity thump base...

Tell ya...something radical is going to have to happen for me soon...

If I want life to be more than just my heart beating, something radical will have to occur...I'll have to make it occur...and it won't be easy...

it's all about enviornment...or in the animal system...'ecosystem'...



All life, or I should say, all healthy balanced life depends on a balanced eco system...

Social eco systems exist too...you have to be in a well rounded enviornment inder to thrive emotionally, spiritually, and financially...if not you'll just continue to struggle...

In real life when the ecosystems not balanced you get deserts...

Yes, you can adapt, but most life in the desert is thorny and hard...
And the paralel can be drawn to the isolated driving lifestyle and what it can do to you if your not careful...it can make you hard on the inside...

I don't feel like getting to interpersonal here on this post...I have other places I can do that now...

But just hearing that xmas music tonight, drown out the football game kind of lead me to write this...


Here's what was going on a year ago around this time on this thread...

http://www.thetruckersreport.com/tr...681-trucking-can-be-like-bad-marriage-23.html

 

...............

Thanks...

I think I actually needed that right now...

It put a smile on my face and made me laugh a bit...

 

Hello, hope everyone slept well.

Had lots of dreams...

How about Newt Gingrich!

The guy was counted out months ago, and now he's leading in the polls...
Months ago everyone in his party thought he was a drain, dead wieght, now look at the guy.
This is like watching a horse race...positions keep changing.

And Green Bay is still undefeated...poor poor Brett Farves...he's really being out shined by Erin Rogers...

And Tim Tebow won on Sunday as him and his team defeated the Kansas City Chiefs...

Winners!



And Herman Cains wife is speaking up...but she's setting them both up for a fall.
Why?

By saying stuff like 'I don't believe he would ever do something like that' (refering to cheating or flirting with other women over the years)...

None of us believed Tiger Woods was capable of doing what he did either.
When are women going to learn that men are capable of doing anything, as are women, while married or in a relationship...regardless of what we choose to believe they would or wouldn't...

Now if it comes out later that he did flirt or cheat, she will be forced to eat her words, as they will be replayed over the airwaves over and over...

Notice when Bill Clinton was accused of the same, Hillary never came out and said 'Oh Bill would never do something like that'....instead she just quietly stuck by her man...

Anyways...Just thought I'd say hello real quick...tempuratures are suppose to get up into the 80's today...

And remember...winners...

 

Hi, I took this photo long time ago...

A little old sckool flava for ya...

I remember when I first started, these types of cab overs seemend like sky skrapers to me...they stood so tall...they were like humangious buildings...

I kind of miss seeing them out there...

Anyways...not a whole lot going on...just lazying around for the moment...

(long long pause)

Ok, I'm back...for some reason, as the sun sets, and things are calm at the moment...I just feel like this song right here, by the Pointer Sisters...

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89MVR_8_bE4[/ame]

It just reminds me of lazy young summer afternoons...hearing the song on the radio and not having a worry in the world that mattered...

As you get older, you really have no one to tell you things are going to be 'ok' anymore...

it's kind of sad when you think of it...when your parents leave you...
Your friends are gone, there just no one there...so it's all in your head...

Memories is sometimes all ya got...oh well...

I'm just going to enjoy this song...

 

Please listen to video as you read post...thanks...

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dnh7YmXSviY[/ame]

Evelyn Champagne...what a singer...

Back when woman actually sang...could hold a note...gosh what happened?

What happened to the old school babes??

No wonder I'm the way I am...if you had to choose from what I gotta choose from you'd be this way too....

Oh I'm in a quite festive mood tonight...

Suppose to go to doctor tomorrow morning at 7:30 am...
Are they out of their minds!

7:30 am...
Just not sure if I want to go...it could take up to four hours...just sitting there...

I don't like being shuffled around like a lab rat...

And whatever they tell me what can I do about it??



So I'd rather just dance...

I'm the kindess rebel you will ever meet...

Thanks Evelyn Champagne....

Oh I feel like going out tonight and celebrating life...

I hope I don't...
Cause in real life when I go out I'm...well...I'm just out there...
But in a good, fun loving friendly way...

(talking to self)

No...you will stay home tonight...don't even...


(when your yourself...you attract real people)

And that's all I want around me...

 

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEOV5vWfSgI[/ame]

This song is for some of you old school warriors on here...

Even though ya'll don't really like me...you have know idea how loyal I am...
Or the passion in me heart...

I love Southern Rock...I'm a ghost...so I have been...I know that doesn't make sense to you...don't worry about it...

This songs for you Pete...for being tough and fair at the same time...the true sign of a good decent man...tough, yet fair...



I understand...I have been, I have felt...
And you backwood log drivers don't get enough respect...

Some of the hardest working, under appreciated drivers in the industry
who are constantly harracesed by DOT...who wait for you when you leave the mill...

I know, cause I have been, I'm a ghost...the ghostchildd...and i feel ya...

How dare that one guy say trucking is safe now?
Although I love him to...cause he's a cattle hauler...

They are very sexy to me...mysterious and sexy...
They always fly by you at night...like phantomns...

I'm here for you all...I'm here to make us all get along...

Long live the old sckool Marshall Tucker band...

And to the original members who have sinced passed away...

The old South still lives on in many...a place of tradition, order, and passion...

I understand, have felt, and have been...

Ghostchildd....

 

Hello...

Didn't do a thing today...accept create this...

http://underworldrealities.webs.com/apps/photos/photo?photoid=142852255


shame on me...shame shame shame...



Shame shame shame...

I need like a drill sargent to follow me around and make sure I do the right
thing...I need a drill sargent to follow me around and make sure I wake up on time...out of bed by 5 am every morning...



On second thought...maybe not...that's a little to up and close for me...
And I might react in the wrong way...
Looks like he's grabbing something...

Anyways.....

Guess I'll have to become my own drill Seargent...

Oh boy, why couldn't some genderless being, entity, life form come and whisk me away into a palace...



I say 'genderless entity' cause that way no romance would be involved...just loving kind friendly behavior...

With humans, that kind of behavior is always followed by, or leads to romance...

But if a genderless entity offered me a place to stay in their palace, and all I had to do was be nice, and smile, and hang out with them...I'd do it...

And my demands would be simple...I'd do it, I'd be there's, as long as

1.I got an allowence of $500.00 a week...

2. And a motorcycle, my own boat, and 3 cars...

3. My own private room with
a. Large screen TV
b. own patio or porch
c. high speed internet
d. own bathroom and shower and jaquzzi...

4. And they would have to put me through school...preferbly flight school..
But I'd settle for journalism school or acting school or director school...

5. My own personal zoo...
6. I would also want my own theme park, like Dolly Parton has...

7. My own studio, with intruments so I could jam with friends I brought over...

And well, I'll stop there, but as you can see, my demands would be simple and small...

Anyways...back soon...

 

Why do I create the kind of self portrait art that I do?

Several reasons...

1. When I look into the hypathetical mirror...



I want to see something 'pleasent'....
As I've stated in the past...nature always seeks a balance...

Most males have wives or girlfriends, so in reality, they are with their 'other half'....

To be complete you need a male and a female, a alpha and a beta, a dominant, and submissive...it's called balance...

But when your single, you don't have that 'balance'...you only have yourself, whether male or female...you only have yourself...and that's not balance...

So it's a phycological way of me seeking balance...

To most on here, that won't even make sense...I may as well be talking in chinese or something...but to a few it just might...

Believe me, I know where I'm at...

2. Second possible reason...simply to rebel...to be what people don't think I should...to shine...and to be what I always knew I was...on the inside...

For years I worked in the trucking industry...and in that enviornment everything is so 'grey'...your made to feel so 'average' or even invisible.
Unless you literally stick your foot out and trip someone, most don't, will never notice you...



I was around nothing but alpha males...all of the time...and again
where's the balance in that?

How can you be in an enviornment where your sorounded by alpha males all the time, 24 hours a day, and not have it affect you?

It's one thing if your married or have a girlfriend, thus your 'balance'...but to be single, and to be around bearded tough alpha males 24/7...just kind of disturbed me...I needed 'balance'...
So i kind of found that balance within myself....

(again I'm aware that will only make sense to a few)....

In this day and age it's not like you can just go out and grab a girlfriend or mate...people are complicated now...relationships take years to develop...and where I stay, unless your apart of certain social circles, forget it...

I would go to bed at night, and the last thing I'd see is a 340 lb hairy dude all up on me at register...I would have to go to bed with that on and in me mind...



And no, the above is not depicting a w-dream...don't even go there...

Ok, anyways where was I...oh ye balance...
I needed balance...if I could not find it visually in a sea of alpha males, than I had to find it internally...within myself...

So in my photo art, I basically made myself into what I really desired to have or meet in real life but never could seem to meet.

In other words I do it for me, to calm, to sooth, my own nerves, own desires...
if I ever met a suitable mate, it would probably stop almost over night...cause now I would have beauty to look upon aside and seperate from myself...(not that I'm beautiful, but digital magic helps in the transformation, kind of the way women apply make-up)....

But then once I saw I could look that way...I kind of became less impressed with women...and my standards became even higher for meeting one...which is a mistake...cause you'll never meet the imaginary babe you create in your head, and vice versa...

Nights and nights of hairy alpha men, while out on the road...It will drive you insane...
At least when I retired at night I wanted myself to be just the opposite of what I had seen all day...

I wanted my legs to be smooth...and so forth...

3. Just the sheer challenge of it...
After a while it becomes a challenge, like putting together a puzzle or something...getting all the pieces right...



It's fun taking an average photo of yourself, and dressing it up until even your suprised by the results...like restoring a old car or something...

You have to get creative, and never quite know what the final outcome will be...but it's a challenge to keep out doing yourself just to proove you can...

Well those are the 3 main reasons I do the art...

 

It's getting to the point where the internet is becoming way to cluttered to find out anything anymore...

For the most simplest of questions, topics are items, your led to all these deceptive sites, that simply want to sell you stuff...

So deceptive...I would never buy anything from a site that deceptivly led me there...
why would I reward their deception?

Your better off just going to the store now...but a lot of electronic stores don't sell program disks anymore...

They'll tell you 'go online and download it'...

Ye ok, and risk getting a virus and who knows what...

I really want to start getting into digital animation...i may have found my nitch...
So I type that in, and instead am given the run around...

None of the links you hit are what they say they are...instead it's a banner for a school, or a banner for a banner for another banner...

You use to just be able to type in a general topic, and get it...now it's like if you don't pin point what you want or need...forget about it...

(everythings a search engine, that simply leads you to another search engine...junk...people who lead you to false crappy pages like that
autta be ashamed of themselves...If I want to enroll in college, I'll go to the colleges website...but don't lead me there through deceptive links)