Trucking can be like a bad marriage...

I know what you mean...I mean I go out of my way not to hit them, and they go out of their way to get hit...

it's as if they're trying to 'get you'....here's what I mean by that...

Most people will instictivly try to avoid running over a mammal softball sized or larger...and the way these things just suddenly appear in the dark, seemingly out of no where, right in front of you...

Perfect scenerio for a wreck...that instinctive pulse to lurch the steering wheel to avoid hitting it, is all it takes to end up in the ditch or tree...

And the way they zig zag and will suddenly change directions on you...

Like they can't make up their minds...left right, no forward..no back...
by that time thier hit...

And then last night a bird flew into the truck..the passenger side light area...

'Thunk'....I was like 'You stupid bird'...you had hours, minutes, in which to fly across the road...why did you wait till the exact moment I come by...

(it was very dark last night)...and was on a 2 lane road at times...so your sight of vision is very shallow...very little time to react...and your eyes can only see that which is illuminated by headlights...so you have split seconds to react to whatevers in the road...whether it be a chair, chunk of metal, tire, or even a cow...

Anyways...didn't mean to go on so long...

 

Truckers should start their own political party...and simply call it

'The truckers party'...

We could change things if we had a voting block...like the tea party...

I could care less about President Obama unilt and when people in his cabinet convince him to sign some stupid legistlation that makes life harder on us, the drivers...then I care and get annoyed...

Cause I know he's totally clueless about what he's signing...but some enviormentalist in his cabnet convinces him that to sign this or that bill is good...

Republicans and Democrats...need to know we're out here...drivers...the heart and soul of this nation...

Maybe I should run for President...just for the fun of it...under the 'workers party'...or 'truckers party'....

Just to bring attention to our lifestyles and what we go through...

I know most on here are mountain men and women...but this is to those who dwell in the urban enviornment...

If you drive a truck..your one of us...and we need to unite...and maybe I'm just the one to do that...

This song's to the underworld dwellers...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7PFlGRPkGs

 

I can't even enjoy driving at night anymore, expecially in congested areas...why?
Do to the extreme bright lights the have on cars now...the lights put out more watts than the sun...and engineers think this is good for us??

People will start going blind at an early age do to these new bright lights...
Even the traffic lights are extra bright...so bright you can't see the street sign posted beneath it do to the glare of the lights...

I mean bright lights everywhere...it's getting to where I might have to start wearing sunglasses at night...

The drive was miserable...it was like looking at the sun the whole time...that can't be good...

But 'man knows best'...

This technology stuff will be our un doing...nothing in nature is that bright...our eyes were not intended to absorb such unaturally ion proton light...expecially in the contrast of darkness...

Man doesn't know best, in many instances...
Bright lights being one of them...

 

Ok, I know the current employment situation I'm in is good, I guess, in that I get along great with the person I work for...

But still, I'm in this enviornment...what is it doing to me?
How much longer can I survive??

I want to live...I need to be around people...I need a job that is personality driven...

Working around oil and pipes and mechanics...is just not for me...



Ok...I know nothing about this...I had issues changing a headlight the other day...and my hands got dirty...

Oh why can't I just win the lottery...

Oh, what am I to do??

Will love keep us together???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6UrAroBHsM

 

Today I noticed my mood is exceedingly better or going up, from a day ago when out on the road...

Not that the quality of my life has changed...but was has changed is 'movement'...

When your home, you physically move around a lot more...which does wonder for the body and circulation which keeps you from feeling grogy and wore out all the time...

When I'm at home I don't sit in one spot for hours at a time...

Noise

Also, while at home, it's much quieter...
In the truck it's loud, your always being thrashed around,... pot holes, this hole that hole...you never sit still, your always getting vibrated around...and after 5-15 hours, it takes a accumalitave effect...it wears you down, makes you annoyed...and chips away at your nerves...

At home, I wake up to the sound of birds chirping...the wind blowing against the trees, and I lay perfectly still...no diesel trucks next to me idoling...

Just based on that, I can see where trucking could wear away at your nerves over the years, hypertension ect ect...

Also at home, I take better care of myself and how I dress...I wake up, I stand up, I go to a large mirror, with lighting...

In the truck your often crouched over...you really have no large mirror in which to examine yourself...and if you do, the lighting is poor...

And in the truck...your often around people when at home you wouldnt be...like at 1 or 2am....I don't sleep as sound out there...cause I'm either in a rush to come or go do to schedualing...

There are a lot of factors that effect the over all physical and mental health of a driver out there...and there also things drivers do to offset the things I mentioned above...

But I'm home now, and I feel my nerves calming...like medicine...just being away from that loud industrial enviornment is medicine...

And being out there amongst strangers also wears on you, never a hello, never a hi...it's like your just reduced to a souless worker...
That to will wear on you...take a toll on your spirit...

Most jobs are fun because you work around people, personalities, that's how god designed us, like it or not...

Will check in a bit later to see how mood experiment develops...

 

Ye, I'm sure it's coming...but It will take a bit of planning...I don't want to step into unemployment...so if, when I do leave again, I have to make sure I transition into something that will earn me enough to survive on...and something I enjoy...

I don't need lot's of money...at this stage of my life, I need for the job, in and of itself, to be the reward...

Not only that, but the amount of money one spends on the road when their unhappy or depressed, sky rockets...spending money becomes like a way to sooth your nerves, make yourself feel better...and I've been doing that lately...just wasting money on 'stuff'...

Let's say you earn $700 a week...but are wasting 2-300 hundred of it on the road...not good...

Where as if your at home daily, you may not earn as much, but at the same time arent constantly spending money out of boredomn...

While driving otr...your constantly at retail locations...so the temptation to spend is always there...while at home you go to the grocery store once...and that's it...

Yes...for my emotional sake, I should get out of it...but until something else comes along...I just have to deal with it...and one way I deal with it is by writing, that in and of it'self is theropy...

There are a few more options though, within this job, that may work...

For instance...the guy I work for more than likely will end the lease with current company, and go to another where indeed your home on a daily basis...now that might work...that just might work...

For to many years...

I've been detached from people and events...like a ghost...you show up at home once every few weeks or months, and events and people just pass you by, or you pass them by...as such you miss out on a lot...and it's that 'detachment' that has come back to haunt me...

It has kinda left me without any real social foundation...

There was a time when the over the road enviornment satisfied that...or so I thought, back when drivers socialized a lot more, talked on the cb a lot more...so my urge to socialize was fulfilled at truck stops...

But that culture, that smokey and the bandit circus enviornment is no more, it's gone...and left in it's place is a void...

When I first started driving, even rest areas were bussling with activities...now their like graveyards...



Yes, rest areas and truck stops have become like graveyards to me...inhabited by ghostly souls...who lurk to and from their trucks, all but invisible to each other...

I find it sad and depressing...
I suppose it's different if you have a family, and a sense of 'purpose'...

Like 'hey, Im earning money for my family'...'and talking to my wife everyday, and my kid who looks up to me'...type of stuff...

But without a family, that sense of 'purpose' goes away...and it's like your just out there, alone...unoticed...

So ye...obviously I'm not emotionally suited for the otr enviornment anymore...but like a mentioned earlier, the truck may be changing accounts soon...so I'll see how that goes and then make my mind up...

I got offered a airport shuttle job right before this one...kinda wish I had tooken it now...that's something I would thoroughly enjoy...I'm a people person, love to entertain...and would love to pick passengers up at the airport...I would be the most talketive driver ever...I'de be on the loud speaker all the time giving tours...

'We are now crossing a brigde, and if you look to your right, you see a man selling newspapers...a quick story about that man, and the corner they're standing on...ect ect ect'....

Anyhow, it's late, what I'm I doing up?

Trucking scheduale does this to you...even when home you wake up during wierd hours, as if your driving...

Hey, I'm glad you found a decent dispatcher who allows you decent home time...that's the key...
Leaving a driver alone when at home helps prevent burnout...cause when he's out there, he's out there...so when at home, leave alone...



Good night Dave...