Trucking can be like a bad marriage...

I'm at the McDonalds again...and people are stuffing their faces with this cheap food...I'm talken adults with kids...their feeding their kids this stuff...

Why not just fry up some eggs at home?? it only takes minutes....



I mean have people forgotten how to cook??

And the amount of women in here is astonishing....women...have women forgotten how to cook??

How pathetic....cooking use to be a joy...it still is for me...

They come in here and shove this artisfiscal food down their kids throats...

I love to cook...anyhow...

Back to what I really wanted to write about....

Those opportunities that I always speak of...that just seem to come through others by being around others and talking....

One such opportunity came to me yesterday...well sort of....a discription was given to me and a number...

Where the earning potential is between $800-$1500 a week....
But it's driving a truck...one the 'guy' gives to you....
Also it's dealing with port type stuff....
Loads pay tremendious...and work weeks are short...3-4 days...unless you want more....

Again...I have the number...but cause I left my phone at a store (which I will get back soon) I haven't called it yet...but when I do, and find out more...I'll share info with select few....

And in the next post...I want to be frank about a few things about myself that some may have forgotten and that may explain a few certain other things about others behavior towards me on here...

I just like being as honest as I can to those who stick by me...they deserve that...

Ok...back soon...

 

When I first came on here...maybe a year and a half ago??

I was in a kind of 'rebellious' state or stage...but more like in a harmless college type of rebellious stage or state...

And I was going through some other stuff as well...

So, I took a bunch of silly photos of myself...pushing the envelope of 'normality' through photography....

They were photos I had on another site...which were extremely popular...world wide...to popular...my stuff was coming up in Japan and Asia..

So I ended it...
But on occasion would post some on here...of all places...a tough gritty blue collor working site...

And reaction from most was, could be, predictable...and as such that stigma has kinda stuck with me...
(and the whispers begin)...(very preditable, as human nature is, but at the time I didn't care..and still don't)


I posted sexy, odd, colorful, creative photos of myself...and as such I'm a 'bad' person...

I'm a bad evil person to some, based on some youthful looking colorful photos I posted on myself...

Lady Gaga does the same thing and is now a millionare and gives speeches to Congress...

It's all about timing, placement, and audience...(with anything in life)...

But anyhow...that's why I'm 'bad'...a bad person...cause through my photos I challenged the notion of what 'beauty' is or could be.

I broke the 'template'...and this community here wasn't and isn't use to that.

Looking back...I probablly should have respected peoples sensibilities...but at the time I really didn't care...cause to me those sensibilities were totally based on falsehood...

And I simply got tired of denying who I was, or could be physically, just to appease other peoples sensibilities who didn't care about me anyways...

I'm a person of the world, as such...I see a lot...and I realize there's more to life than 'me' or my 'taste' or my sense of how things should be.

I let go of that notion long ago...others haven't, can't and won't...

And that's their right...and I must respect that as a guest on here...and will...

Now those who stick by me, see through all that stuff...the surface...and instead look at my character...my spirit...and realize by now I'm solid...

I'm principled....playful and silly at times, but principled...

I simply went through my teen years later in life...cause I grew up in such a strict household....
It was 'yes sir, no sir' type stuff...like the military or something...

And sooner or later that childhood I was denied had to come out...and it did...

All the silly things and dressing wildly and being socially reckless came out...it all came out at once during a crisis I went through a few years ago...and you know what...it felt good...

Thus the name 'Ghostchild'...there is a child in me that never got to live...it was denied...and thus comes out now at times...
(that's one reason for the name...there's others I may explain later)...

Anyways...batter power is getting low...I'll re connect at the library later...

Ronald McDonald the clown is all up on me again......so I'm going to leave soon...and the odor of the mop bucket is making me dizzy...

I told them to change thier mop water...smells like vomit...and I almost slipped...

Sorry...out of time and battery power...back soon to further elaborate...

 

Ok, I'm back...it's raining hard out, drizzly, wet...no sun light at all...the sun light and sparkle will have to be self generated today...

It will have to come from your own heart...

Anyhow to conclude the above post...that's kind of my story on here...

I'm sure all sorts of conspiracies have been started about me, based on the photos I use to post, but can no longer...

Once people decide they don't like you, the door is wide open for speculation, lies, gossip, slander, ridicule and whatever else...

But through it all...a certain few, see that it's all just that...


I also use to post photos of myself......cause I didn't want 'shallow' people pretending to be my friend...

So I would post photos of myself right up front...so that people could make their minds up right on the spot to whether they wanted to continue on in the friendship or not....or chat dialogue...

Cause what happens a lot of times is, online...anyone can pretend to be your friend, based on a few posts, dialogues...but in their minds, if you agree with them on several issues...they begin to formulate images of what they think you look like...

And if you don't fit those 'images' they will instantly dump you...

That's the 'depth' of most people...very shallow...

So to avoid that type of scenerio...I would just post photos so people always knew who they were dialoguing with...it saved me heartache down the road...

But the funny thing is, in real life I don't look like those photos...I just look like a normal 'blue collar' person...

I would never walk around like as portrayed in those photos, unless in some wild Marti Gras parade or something.



even then I don't know...well, maybe after 6 beers, yes...

(ok, it's hard for me to concintrate right now...I've moved to the library, but it's louder here than at the McDonalds....some guy just had a sneezing fit...didn't cover his mouth, and sneezed all over computer monitor and mouse...and didn't even wipe it...germs germs germs....
And then some kid kept or keeps sliding plates or something around in the play area....and then the dog gon librians themselves were haveing a gossip party or something...talking about salaries different city workers make or earn...yikes...way to much noise for a library...as such my concentraition has been thrown way off...and now i'm more focused on the people around me than my writing...)


1, 2, 3, 4, 5....calm....mellow....relax...

Ok one more time...let me try this...

Because of those photos....(ok, this is not going to work, now the library worker is slamming down DVD's in plastic covers, onto the shelves...doe's she not realize how disruptive that is...)

Sorry...my mood has changed and I know longer feel like writing about this topic...now the kid is slidding that sled toy thing around again...and the librarian is slamming down plastic dvd cases onto wooden shelve...

back soon...

 

I love you I love you I love you...and I don't care how people interpit that...

My friend...my strength...my joy...how are you???

I'm back at the library...a different one...

These jobs and opportunities I seek out aren't really for me...their for others...

For I can only work one job at a time...

It's all about family and looking out for those who stick by you...

It's just in my blood to do that...

But like I said earlier...I left my phone at a convient store...and until I get that phone back...I can't call that number...but when I do...I'll fill people in on the details...those who have stuck by me and didn't back away based on some baseless gossip or homophobic type mythological fear...

You, of all, have stood the test...I sent you photos of me, in my silly mode...and it didn't as so much phase you one bit...you saw through the sillyness...the playfulness...

These opportunities I seek are for others...not really me...for my future is in entertainment...

Hopefully...we'll see...



If I had my phone...my cell phone...we'de be talking up a storm right now...

But I left it at a convient store...but the guy I work for said he would retrieve it for me...we'll see...

You have heard me...my voice, my personality...so you know I'm real...

You've seen some of my photos...and it didn't phase you...

That means a lot to me...you understand I was just being 'goofy' or 'silly'...and didn't hold it against me...again that means a lot to me...

Some people are just so shallow, fake...
I can't do nothing for them...and lator on...they better not pretend to have been my friend...

For I know those who have stuck by me...should things change...not saying that they will...

Maybe they won't...and maybe I'll always be 'gutter' or 'nothing'...



But in the odd chance that things do change...I'll remember those who stood by me...verses those shallow judgemental souls who listened to others whispers...based on hot air...

Let me say this about those who may be reading...

I could care less about who you are...if your gay, straight, transexual, democrat, rep, indian white, black, egyption, Iranian, Austrailian, short, tall, fat or thin...could care less...

All I care about is 'integridy'...honor...truthfulness...

Ok...all that aside...what else can we talk about??

Bro...I miss you...I don't know why these things happen...

Why did I have to loose my phone this weekend??

Fate or coincidence??

That guy giving me his friends number to that awesome job...
fate or coincidence??

I don't know...I just go with the flow...

My father is a famous man in collegiate circles...(like these people on here even care)...they could totally careless...

To them I'm just a 'looser'....let them continue thinking that...

And maybe I am...

For to be honest...there are many heros on here...

Let me explain...

Some of these old time rugid drivers did what they had to do to take care of their families...they did what they had to do..

They paid the price...they worked long hard lonely hours...to make sure their families were provided for...

I just hope their wives and kids appreciate it...many on here, drivers that is, worked long hard hours...sacrificed their health, life, and dignity, in order to send their kids to college...so that their kids could have a better life...



These hard working men and women are to be comended...thanked, appreciated...for they are indeed hero's...

And I really hope their families thank them for it...

Dad is gone, but the bills are paid...but do they realize what 'dad' has to go through in order to bring the bacon home??

I hope so...

Even though most hate me on here, have done their best to 'ostricize' me...to 'alientate' me...I still appreciate what many of them do...their hard work...

To bad their just to easily manipulated to be against me based on other peoples bias and or fears...oh well at least your not...

Ok...time to end this post and begin another...

 

But in the end...we all scream for ben and jerries ice cream...



Ok, I'm sorry...I'm in a goofy mood...

And slightly.....

But I do think we could all use some ice cream right now...

Jimdriv3r...I get ya...I get what you were trying to say...so does U4EA...and Xdraw...I'm sure of it...

back soon...gonna change locations again...

 

Love ya'll...

I'm at McDonalds again...I promise this crap will end soon...I'll get my service turned on again and won't have to hop around like this anymore...



We are family...we are unit...same concept...

One for all, all for one...

Love ya'll....

anyways...I'm so sorry my phone got lost...
My family probablly thinks I'm igoring them...

One of my sisters is a medical doctor...

But i want to start some stuff of my own right here...

When I get my phone back...I'll email certain others of you with the number...

You know what...now that I'm using McDonalds wifi...I can down load any video and it doesnt count against my gb per month...so what video can I post to represent the moment...

As you know by now...my taste are wide and varied...hmm...lets see...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0XLKcMoXRE

How about 'Hot for teacher'...since I kind of feel we're all in rebelion mode...

We're good, honorable...but yet have a rebellious streak about us...

Yes...

We were probablly all outcast in high school...did'nt quite fit in..whatever...

Well guys...it's not over yet...our time may just be beggining...

Who knows...we'll just have to see...

it's hard for me to get intamate and detailed while at these public places...
But when I get my own service turned back on in a few weeks, that will change...

All orginizations start with people, personalities...and that's how they rise...

No induvisual can do it alone...read their biographies...

It always starts from a core...

We set and blaze our own trail....yes....

Something special will arise from this...trust and believe...

The power of thought is amazing...

All the rest that let go cause of A, B, or C...oh well...

Anyhow guys...time to end this post and maybe start one more...

Rock on rebels...but good rebels...