Trucking can be like a bad marriage...

I don't know man, it's like I grew horns and became a monster or something...



Although the passion was real, ultimatly I wasn't happy with how I expressed it...(You can tell I'm back to my 'logical' side)...

Like Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde...

Anyways...

not really pumped up about much today...nor the week ahead...

I really just feel like laying up in a nice beach front hotel all week, watching TV and movies and being left alone...



I wouldn't mind doing that for the rest of my life actually...

A lot of the thrill of 'career building' is gone for me right now...

Just not really feelin it anymore...

When your younger, you just don't know, or care what your up against...

Anyways, I don't want to turn this into a depressing post...

Just going to lay back and relax for a while...back soon...

 

Feeling better now...

Earlier I felt...'blah'...

So I slept it off...now I feel a bit restored...happier, more confident...

My usual self...

I think it was some cold medicine I took...


Earlier today, i really got to thinking about what I want to do, what comes easy...and that is of course, writing...

When I write, it's the only time I ever truly feel at ease...

I would love to have my own paper...become a reporter...but at my own paper...

With a specific 'niche'...

Celebs or Athletes...follow the money...

People suddenly become interested in you when you start writing about them...

Like Matt Drudge...the guy who broke the Monicca Lawinscky story...(or however you spell it)..

I enjoy doing research on subjects, and then writing about them...

Oh well...just blabbing to myself right now...I'll do some exploring tonight on the net...

The idea of 8 to fiveing it for the next 10-20-30 years, really just seems daunting at this point...

Once again...I sense I'm coming to some cross roads again...if you follow me, you'll notice about every 5-6 months, there always comes a major shift...career wise, job wise, location wise...

And I sense one coming on again...over the next few months...

Back soon...this post has run it's course...

 

Hello all,

I've got to get off the couch today...for real...go create some opportunity for myself...

Of course what gas prices being what they are...it kind of kills any idea of recreational driving...or any type of driving...



Ahh, that's funny...

I know I could use a moped right now...60 mpg...that would be nice...

Anyhow...just checking in...

I'm sure I'll get into something in a bit here...

Back soon...

 

Wrestling video classic...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrX9Ca7LSyQ&feature=related

Truckers use to be like this when I first started...they would beat the crap out of you, if they could find you over the CB radio....

When I first started...truckers were just like this guy here in the video...felons, freaks, wierdos...
There's a certain 'sexyness' to it...

The Ward Cleaver driver didn't come about until later...when the industry consciously was trying to change the image...

I miss the hard warrior types myself...

Ahh...the good ole days...

 

Soccer fan runs out and confronts referee...
Wow, and I thought the passion ran deep in the trucking industry...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayWRlJYbp3k&feature=related

 

Just blogging...



Oh what shall I do today??

I've become complacient...
You get to a point in your life where you know longer feel like 'prooving' yourself to others...

And that's what you do when you apply for jobs...

You just get tired of trying to convince people that your worth A,B,C...
It gets old...

And sometimes seems like a distraction...

When your 22 years of age...it's different...your different...

You still think everyone likes you, and that nothing can stand in your way.

That changes as you age, depending on many variables...

People who go to college, and join fraternaties, probablly have a different outlook...cause their never alone...they not allowed to 'fail'...

It's so important to be apart of a team...a social team of some sort...
Otherwise your on your own...

Sure, there's lots of OTR trucking jobs here...abc companies...that treat you like a fool....

I wish I could go back to that...I wish I weren't so 'complex'...I wish I could be happy with road life again...sitting at rest areas alone, truck stops alone...where everyone treats you like the plague...



But rest areas aren't my home...I pull in...sit for 5 minutes, than am bored out of my mind...

(I pull in and watch other families and friends together, and then feel even more lonely)

No one talks, everyone just jumps in the back of their cabs and sleep...I'm not dead yet...I can't do that...I need action after I park...

No, not that kind...

I need social action, or just movement...
I get bored way to easy...

I so wish that lifestyle didn't bother me anymore...things would be so much simpler for me...

Make money and sleep, make money and sleep...go to Pilot, eat junk food...go back to sleep...

I'll figure something out here soon...

But until then, must stay productive...and up beat...
I mean it's not like I'm a self made millionare and can just afford to relax...

Anyways...time to get off the couch and do something...
back soon...

 

Title: Corner Store in the city...



One of the deadliest places you will ever visit in the city, expecially at night, is the 'corner store'...every neighbood has one, or several...

The more crime ridden the section of town their on, the more deadly they can become...

I often equate them to 'water holes' in the desert...you know, places where thirsty animals congegrate to drink water...expecially during drought, animals will often walk dozens of miles to get to one water hole...

And the preditors no this, and lay in wait...patiently waiting, scoping, for the easiest prey...always observing for the slightest hint of weakness...

And thus it is with humans at night, a certain preditor element...who love to lurk around such establishments...



They lie in wait, just outside the lights, in the shadows, watching, waiting, for an opportunity to strike...

It could start as innocently as someone walking up and asking you for a light...

Or it could be someone following you outside, after you've made your purchase, or while your filling your vehicle with fuel...

Bottom line...be vigilant at these places at night...
Often times victims never see it coming...

For remember, most of the time they will have scoped you out long before your aware of their presence...and often work in pairs or trios....

If you live in a rough urban area, it's actually best to just fill up and do your business during the day, to avoid any unexpected confrontations...

Anyhow...I just felt like writing about convient stores at night...as there's one I often frequent...where in the past deadly drama has originated from...

So whenever I go up there now...I get uneasy...expecially as times get more desperate, and people are looking for any opportunity to run up on you...

And that concludes this post...

 

In a agrivated mood...

I always here 'billions of dollars here, billions of dollars there...billions of dollars everywhere...so when do I get my share?'...(didn't mean for that to turn into a ryme.

All these billions of dollars that are always being donated here, given away by this corporation there...these billions of dollars just never seem to float down to working people...all these billions of dollars just seem to evaporate between the sponsor and corporate or government recipient...but never makes it down to the common worker...

I guess you have to be a lying snake, to qualify for these billions of dollars BP and other giants seem to give out, but yet no one seems to get...

When your poor, communism and capitolism almost seem just alike...

You basically work for nothing, see all your earnings evaporate on small neccisity stuff...

It's not like your splurging...
It gets to the point you feel guilty just for going out and buying a decent meal for yourself...

We live in a messed up world, I mean you step outside to have a picnic in the grass, and ants.... are all over your food, and then as the sun sets, misquitoes have their turn at you.....oh...watch out for the spiders and snakes to...and the flys and tics and fleas...

I mean my gosh...who bio-engineered all these pests...

As if someone or something is deliberatly trying to torment humanity...

Oh, I would like to take a swim...oh, forgot about the hungry pirhana fish, or the baracuda fish, or the sharks...



or alligators or piosonious jelly fish...or killer whales....or sea snake...

my gosh...let's not forget about all the bacteria that seems to be floating around everywhere...colds, the flu, small pox, phenomonia...

Then on top of that you gotta face gang bangers, and street goons, and criminals...

Then the IRS...



I mean is there any hope...(obviously it's the mood I'm in talking)...

Oh well...

 

Cool....^^^^

I know what it is, for the first time in my life...I'm not 'challenged'....

I don't have a clear cut goal...

In the past it was always something I was striving for...

Pilot lessons...



or school or some kind of certification...



Or training for some kind of sports league and or
participating in a gym...



Bottom line...I need a goal...something to work towards...

I'm not content if I'm not being challenged...

Trucking use to challenge me...the idea of becoming an owner operator use to...

I'm not sure if I have one more run in me or not...just don't know...

I doubt I do...

I go out there, and just staying in the truck for one night I go bizerk...get bored out of my mind...it's nearly impossible for me to shut down and sit still for 10 solid hours...that seems like an eternity...

Even at home...I don't go to bed at 10 pm...and wake up at 8 am...more like I got to bed round 12...and wake up at 6 am...or I go to bed at 3am...and wake up at 9am...

I have to burn off energy before I go to bed...

But ye...I need a goal to work towards...

1.School
2.Flight
3.Sports league or gym
4. Save up for major vacation somewhere, like cruise ship or something...

It has to fall under one of those...for now...

And in turn, what that will do is motivate me to find the work I need to fund it...
And it will give the mundane work more 'meaning'...

So let me get off my butt and get started on my search...

back in a bit...