Trucking can be like a bad marriage...

My problem is as of lately...I have set my sights to low...

In the past I dreamed big...Pilot, Attorney, Baseball player, teacher, biologist, zoologist, even acting, fire and Rescue, even law enforcement...



Lately, it's like I've been afraid to go after what I really want...

And that's the major difference...that's why life in the past had so much more 'umph'....cause in the past I didn't worry about things like how I would pay for schooling or this or that...I just did it and got it done...

Lately it's like I've been settling for mop up jobs and positions...



None of you know what my father has accomplished...and the friends or succesful people he knows...

(not that we were ever that close)...but still...in the end, he's my father...

And he never raised me to settle for the bottom...and here I am lately settling for just that...no wonder happiness has been so fleeting lately...

I've always said...you live until your die...I really do need to live by that and get my act together...

If I want to be a lawyer...why not...If I want to get into stage production...why not...



If I want to get into business management...why not...

I have to make a change in my life, and get my gunho-ness back...and you can only do that by persuing something you love and or have passion for...

I do believe my spiritual and mental and even physical life, depends on it...

Tomorrow I will get busy doing what I have to do to get back on course...
It won't happen over night...but all this time I've been wasting lately...weeks, months, that I could of instead spent on persuing a passion...instead of waddling in the past...shame on me...I've never done that before...I've always been a go getter...

 

I notice, when you get back into the collegiate circles...opportunities just open for you, your around thinkers, planners, and institutions that have the finances to back your dreams...

That's the major difference...when your out here alone...there's no one to finance anything for you...

All the people I'm around think so 'small'...are 'hustling'...or just 'wondering'...trying to make it day by day...

Again...my life has never been that way until recently...or the last few years...

I applied that same attitude towards trucking early on...but just got burned out...

I wanted to be a fleet owner...but not anymore...I'm done slaveing in the truck...

It's insulting...I find it very insulting...

Now if I could start a legit lease program from the beggining...without having to wait 90 days...than maybe...cause my personal expenses are relatively low...

But it would have to be as a business man, and not a trucker...a labourer...

But like I said...instead of wasting time here, right now...I need to start doing some research...I'll check in later....

 

Well goodnight..hope all had good productive days...
Life is so unpredictable...

I've been there...to the wheatfields of WA State...the springtime air...the smell of the new harvest...



to the vast oceans of the Pacific ocean....



And more...

Oh the things these eyes have seen...

But in the end...what does it all mean??

Just be glad your alive...and have a brain that can read and comprehend things...be glad that your self aware...

Be glad your able to taste the food you eat...

Ultimatly I don't know what it means...that's what Gods for...to explain those things to you...us...

The fact that I'm here is a miracle...that I'm able to post day after day, night after night...

We don't realize how miraculious that is until it suddenly ends...

To God goes the glory...

Anyways...goodnight...have to get up early tomorrow...long day ahead...will take photos...

I may post one more post...not sure...

 

One of the coolest science fiction art books ever...I use to amaze over this book
as a child...if you can order it...do...it brings back so many memories...

The wonder years...

I kid you not...I haven't heard this song by Stanley Clark in over 20 years...since I was a kid...

But as kids, me and my sister would listen to this song, while flipping through the pages of 'Tomorrow and Beyond'...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVWilu7Ajyo

It so took us out of the realm or 'normalness' and took us to the far reaches of the Universe...wow...the memories...

This was back when that whole 'logans run' fusion jazz era was in...

I hope at least one person can relate...if not oh well...

The age of wonder...wow...

You have to really step outside yourself to understand this...

I have faith in some of you...just let go...step outside the box...if not just for a moment...and lets dream together....later...

 

Movie director, producer...



I think I've made up my mind...in reference to above posts about picking a passion and sticking to it...

I'm happiest when I'm creating and sharing...so it only makes sense for me to create or produce or make a movie, film...

I love telling stories, I love illustrating...that's all I do on here...and it comes effortlessly...and I have a ton of ideas I've always wanted to take to film...

So it's really a natural fit...

So the first thing I need to do is save up for a nice amatuer cam corder...

And their not cheap...

I always say content over film quality initially...the rest will come, as long as you have a story to tell or share...

(I know i've already lost many, most don't come here to hear stuff like this..most just want to chew on turkey drumsticks and drink beer)..

But all that aside...

I think I was meant to be a film maker...someone who can tell stories...
Either fiction or biographies...



I need to do what i'm good at...I mean who else on here has a personal thread this long...who continues on and on and on, regardless of feedback??

Now if I were apart of some acclaimed higher institution...I'd be encouraged...

But here, I'm scorned, and looked at as a albatross...

But luckly I'm above such influences...and never stop...

So yes...first order of business...find or research good quality used or new low production camera equiptment...the script, then actors and actresses...

I have all the material in my head...so many stories to tell, from drivers to the abused symbolic to whatever...it's all in my mind...(oh, and comedy)....

I am a creative soul...but on here...that goes no where...that's very telling...

If I were a pork lion eating neanthrothol, I'd be accepted...



Oh well...

I hate that humans are so predictable...
It bores me infact...an equation I'v figured out long ago...

Why can't I encounter someone whom I can't figure out...

A challenge...

 

I think I'll call it 'Ghostchildd Productions'...



Yes, I'll start a production company...register it and all...and from there recruit a pool of actors and actresses...small time people I'll make into 'stars'...

When you follow your passion, it comes effortlessly...does not feel like work at all...

But first I need a camera...a new computer...free of all and any internet connections and or viruses...

Which means I have to go work, work my butt off and save up the money...

Which equates into 'motivation' 'drive'...

Are you starting to see the big picture??

Whether male or female, you need motivation...a 'reason'...a 'justification'...to get up and do what you do....

Next step...recruit people for my production company...a pool of
ametuer actors and actesses for the cause...



Laugh as you may..but let's just see what happens...and do to my very flexible life schedual right now...I do have the time for this...

1, 2, 3....begin....

 

Who do ya trust these days??

can man ever be trusted?

I doubt it...people are controlled by emotions and feelings that not even they understand or can control...

But they can justify...just not control...

Anyways people...good night...sleep tight...whatever that means...

Be glad your alive...I guess...

Hated by some, loved by others...does any of it really make sense???

Shallow ### mthcs....

Grow up pleaz...actually don't...that way it gives me something to do...

I'm the 'Jazzman'...later...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7x_vWNRS5c

 

Hello,

It's sure a good time to have your CDL...where I live, companies are hireing like mad...so many adds...
The Pendilumn has finally swung back the other way...



3 to 5 months ago, I remember companies being all stuck up...and extra picky about who they hired...couldn't have this, couldn't have that...ect ect...

Now the freight is coming back, and many of these companies have chased off potentially good drivers...

Thes companies held their nose up to desperate drivers who just needed a break...and now they want them to 'come back' and 're-apply'....

When will these companies learn there's no such thing as a 'perfect' driver...
I mean all this 'Can't have had more than 3 jobs in 2 years' type of stuff really stank to high hvn...

And now I'm also noticing many companies are offering extended time off throughout the year...

Like 1 weeks paid vacation for every 30,000 miles traveled...
And that makes sense...there starting to realize OTR trucking isn't like other 9-5 jobs...drivers are away for extended time, issues and problems can really 'compound' as a result...

And more and more companies, who didn't in the past, are now allowing for pets and spouses to ride along...duh...



I mean who wants to stay out there for weeks anymore in total isolation...and I myself would never work for a company that expected me to do so...that's so cruel and inhumane to ask that of anyone...to drive for weeks, months, at a time without a pet or spouse or other ride along companion...freind, relative ect ect...

In the past, I'd always have a little pet with me...it made it more exciting, fun...Oh how I miss those days...

Companies are realizing, if they want to continue to attract mainstream drivers, they need to make the work enviornment more 2011 friendly...

Oh well...just felt like laying down some thoughts...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFYMijdQ_sA

Hello....oh the good ole wonder years...

Then we grow up...and are mean to each other...why?

What do people get out of being mean?

Who knows...but I think I may be ready to move on...not sure...

In that I mean joining a more vibrant site...where I can truly connect with my past...

Yes, I know I'll be somewhat of a lightning bolt...
But I'm starting to miss my classmates...

And others...my military pals...

So much of my past I've blocked out...

People are getting older now...and I do kind of miss them...

I think I'm ready to dive into a new realm...

I actually came here to..seek 'shelter'...to relax..

And this forum still provides me great relief and comfort...
but it's very 'clichish'...

klanish...

No, not the racist type of klan...but the 'Your not like us' type of klanish...

There are some very wonderful souls on here...very wonderful...

But they're so distant, unless you come from the hills of Virginia like them...or the hills of Kentucky...which are beautiful...

And people are so phobic on here to...
To the point of being 'childish'...

people in their 50's and 60's clinging onto imature phobias...

It's so regressive...and it's hard to grow and build with that kind of spirit...

But yet I can relate...

I'm very broad in my background...and come from that 'survivalist' background as well...

I just refuse to be captive to any one theme or orientation or viewpoint...

I refuse to become 'petrified' in any one belief...



A petrified ancient relic...I refuse to become that...

A prisoner to my own ignorance or stupidity...

You can't do much with petrified people...their so stuck in their ways...

Oh well...

Just not sure...

Anyways...the weather is perfect here today...perfect...

Later...