What if it Snows?

And to watch these morons walk into the path of the plow truck that is making a scrapping noise that should alert everyone is also amusing and maddening. I say eff em and plow them over. That will prevent them from rolling their Volvo in the upcoming days LOL.

 

True story.......took my German GF to Berlin for something........it was 35 years ago and I can't quite remember why we were there.......but anyway, we get to the hotel, and I go to take a pee. I walk into the bathroom and see 2 toilets. Being from Iowa, I had never seen 2 toilets in 1 bathroom. So I'm like, "Hey. Check it out, 2 toilets......you get your own." She's like, (Very calmly, without being dismissive), "Dude, the other one is a bidet." I'm like, "What's a bidet?"
So, now I know what a bidet is.

 

My dad installed one in the new master bath. I was young and messing with it while helping clean. I ruined the plaster on the ceiling. That thing was freaking powerful.

 

I’m leaving immediately. Just saw a completely naked, overweight (thank god as it covered his junk) Mercer van driver emerge from his sleeper to adjust something on dash. Maybe Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder were the lucky ones.

 

The assault on the driveway should begin but motivation is lacking maybe a piece of toast will help.

 

Yeah— water shooting up your rectum under pressure must be a European thing

 

Getting ready for the chili cook-off today.
Smoked 2 pumpkin pies and a cheesecake for the bake sale.
Now it's only one pie. Lol

 

The Little Indian Boy Story.

I alluded to this on a previous post with @Judge, and I started thinking that maybe everyone doesn't know the story. So, I thought I'd tell it. It's pretty good and informs a lot in life. So here goes......

Once upon a time, a little Indian boy had to pass the rights of passage to manhood by climbing the mountain.
So he did.
When he got to the top, he found a snake that was shivering and nearly dead.
The snake said, "Please take me to the bottom, otherwise I will surely die."
The boy said, "If I touch you, you will bite me and I will surely die."
The snake said, "No, I would never do that to you. You must save me."

So, the little boy picked up the snake and took him to the bottom of the mountain.
At the bottom of the mountain, the snake warmed up and immediately bit the boy.

As the boy lay dying, he cried out, "You said you wouldn't bite me."
The snake replied, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."

Big ol' life lesson there.
Be it women or trucking companies. We want to believe the best, but we always seem to find out what we already knew.

 

“Mom, he hit me!”
“Dad, she’s breathing on me!”
“Mom, he’s looking at me!”
“Dad, he took my toy and won’t give it back!”
“Mom!! He’s touching me!!”
“Dad, she stuck her tongue out at me.”

“If you two say one more thing, just one more, I’ll pull this car over and have your mom beat your ###.”

Then you hear a neck turn and “Why am I always the one you say will whip them?”

“Because, one good stern look from a mad woman is better then any belt I ever remember.”