Your favorite Tall Tales and Lunch Counter stories.

My favorite is when people say that they already have driverless rigs in Florida. And then I break it to them that we can’t even figure out driverless trains…

 

Pretty much anything that was said in a drivers lounge when I was OTR; why I stayed out of ‘em. *Mostly* the blowhard know it all types that hang out in ‘em.

I did have some fun with a blowhard one time when I was OTR. I was playing chess with one of the office folk that I had got to know a bit and this ###### came in talking about how good he was and wanted to play the winner.

Well, I was teaching the office person how to play so we weren’t having some super serious game. Blowhard keeps on so office folk finally says “Here, go ahead”. I had blowhard in checkmate in 3 moves. Lol

AND, I’m not some pocket protectors wearing nerd that lives and breaths chess. I’m maybe a slightly above average player. I just like to play. Obviously, blowhard had spent way too much time playing the easy level against his computer. Lol

 

I think it was the winter of 2002. I was blasting across Arizona at about 105 mph. I always went 105, because when my truck hit 110, it would shake. But it handled 105 pretty well, so that’s what I always did. I saw a sign that said, “Weigh Station Open – all Trucks Must Weigh.” I knew all the trucks would be slowing down in the right lane, so I stayed in the left lane with the cruise control on (which was a wood stick wedged between the seat and the accelerator).

As soon as I passed the weigh station, I heard someone on the CB say, “Hey bull wagon, Smokey Bear’s comin’ after you.” Could it be true? I was never pulled over before. I almost didn’t believe it. I just always thought we were above the law. But, just in case Smokey was listening, I said, “I’ve got some cows that need water this hour and I have over a hundred miles to go.”

About twenty miles past the weigh station, he finally caught me. I pulled over on the shoulder of an off-ramp and he stopped in front of my truck. A very young rookie got out and he was pissed off! “Who do you think you are blowing by my weigh station like that? Are you blind or just stupid?” He took my driver’s license and told me to follow him back to the station. He said he was going to do a full DOT inspection, and find anything else he can think of to write me up for. I tried to explain that these animals were about to die, but he didn’t believe a word of it.

When we arrived at the weigh station, he waved me into the inspection area. I was surprised to see him with a creeper in his hand. I smiled at the thought of him sliding under my trailer full of cows. I knew my truck was in good shape and that he wouldn’t find anything wrong and I told him so.

All of the sudden, he got a whiff of all the cows in the trailer and he said, “Maybe I won’t go under it.” Just then he turned and saw his sergeant looking at him and then said, “Oh, what the hell.” He gave me an evil grin and then slid under the trailer. The whole time, I tried to tell him, in a round-about way, that cops don’t mess with us for a lot of good reasons. And he was now beginning to see that.

He came out rather quickly, but it was still too late. He had crap on his face and all over his shirt! And when he tried to wipe it with a rag, it just smeared across a bigger area – and that just made it stink worse. He took one look at himself and with a red face said, “I’ve got to go – get out of here!” I left without getting a ticket.

 

How about the guy who told me he beat up 4 SC state troopers one night and went to court and was found innocent but the judge still after being found innocent told him he was never allowed in the state of SC again

 

Marshall Ledbetter owned victory van lines and was brutally rich . He was friends with several Governers . Its been said that if troopers pulled over a Victory truck in the 60's &70's they were fired on the spot . Haulin untaxed hooch to Nyc from Tn .

 

Reading this and all the other posts about it after all these years since first hearing it and hearing it again just weeks ago in a dinner across the street from the truck stop I first heard it has me laughing.

An old trucker telling some young guy tall tales and this one came out. When the young guy looked at me after he said it with disbelief, I felt obligated to back up my fellow old timer with his fun. So I said to the wiper snapper “ The only reason you don’t see or hear that anymore is because of people having cameras everyplace and now the cops can’t get away with it anymore.” At that point he looked as if he may have swallowed it but I can’t be sure!

 

I actually have an acquaintance that had a judge tell him to leave the state and never return. He killed someone in the next state over and spent the rest of his life in jail. Come to think of it every single boy in his family is or was in jail for life but he is the only one that didn’t do it in this state.

 

I met a guy that was a tank commander (the most respected in his group... of tanks, I guess), he was also a sniper, well connected with the Dallas mafia, high ups in law enforcement, and he will coordinate between the two as a middleman... and he was also an alien hunter who has found so far two different alien species living on Earth. One is good, one is bad. They are at war with each other over Earth. And he's getting it all figured out. His "research" under review!

This guy is also one of those who always gets in fights (according to him), but never starts any of them, and never loses any, either. He's not afraid of anything! He will stare death right in the eye and then kick its ###! And then go home with no less than 12 girls!

Honestly.. that's the only time I have ever had to take an asprine just for listening to someone ramble. I thought headaches from talking was just a joke. It turns out, it's not.