Your favorite Tall Tales and Lunch Counter stories.

Everybody seems to claim native American heritage. I was talking to the guy that trained me about having had my ancestry checked with a dna test. He said it's b.s. how his great grand mother was full- blood Cherokee and the test didn't show any. They convict people on dna so I believe in it. I didn't tell him that either maybe he was adopted or it just wasn't true. He also claimed to have a full beard in the 5th grade.

 

I was hitchhiking late one night when an old cabover pulled over to give me a lift. Driver was a rough looking lady. When she dropped me off after telling a chilling tale, she said "tell them large Marge sent ya!

 

Headed out of Parsons West Virginia one night with some Kingsford charcoal. Going north on 219. I caught up with another driver from the same company, hollered at him on the CB, nothing. Looked a little closer and realized the road was so curvy that I was looking at the back of my own trailer.

 

I don't know the motivation, but I was laid over in California when this happened. I remember watching the news coverage. I spent almost all of Aug that year west of the Mississippi. I had just got back to the East Coast when the 911 attacks happened.

 

Overheard at a gathering around a campfire of swagmen (hobos) in the Australian Outback:

You heard the story of Black Bob who carried a cow up the slippery banks of Stringybark Creek?
No?
Well I'm the bloke who was carrying Black Bob.

 

No one mentioned two of my favorites I first heard in the 70s:

One week I didn't get my check. Well, actually, my wife always got the check in the mail and she would tell me when we talked on the phone. I had driven 5000 miles the week before so I was pretty pissed. I called up the office and they said there must have been some kind of mistake, but they'll get it to me by the time the next check is due. So I drove 5000 miles the next week and guess what? Yep, no check next week. I called them up and they promised they'd make it right, and the boss even said he'd throw in an extra $100 for the aggravation.

Well, I did another 5000 miles the next week and still no check. I drove home and got out a logging chain and chained that truck to the big tree in my front yard, then I called up the company and told them I quit, and if they wanted their truck they could come get it but I wasn't gonna unlock that truck till I got all my ###### money. Wasn't two days later they sent a guy with a check. I made him wait outside until I got back from the bank to make sure it would clear.

Second is a variation of the not getting paid story that ends with "I gave every kid in Dallas a watermelon and then dropped the trailer with the rest of the load and turned the reefer up to 90°."

 

Ya know something tells me you would be the main attraction at the lunch counter

 

Yes, but he missed the rest of the quote, which was, 'to paradise'

Possibly more embarrassing.

 

Reminds me of the time I was coming through OKC and you know that s curve on the south side of town on I35? Well they had just got hammered with about a foot of snow and the roads hadn't been worked on. A JB Hunt came flying by me on that s curve and he fishtailed a little bit, and so I asked him on the radio if he knew that he just almost lost it? He says ya I know, I just #### my pants back there, and so I told him there was a truck stop right ahead so he could pull over and clean up. And he says - I would, but I'm not done yet!

 

I agree with you 100%. Some truck drivers I have met could not possibly be from this world either.